Sunday, July 3, 2011

Uncle Ricky

Let me start out by saying: THE LAST thing I want is for this blog to become one of those "You know what really bugs me..." diatribes. The day I start making half clever observations about airplane food or the like is the day I devote my life to making casserole smoothies for coma ladies. I'm not doing that. I really have no desire to gently caress their brittle hair and dress them up so they can be actors in my "Comatose theater: The Force Fondle Opera."

I spent a few days with my sisters cute 1 year old son. That makes me "Uncle Ricky". Part of becoming an uncle is knowing that you don't have to try so hard to be creepy anymore. Almost anything you do can become unsettling. Just do it while talking in a slow, disturbing voice, all the while assuring everyone that "It's ok. I'm an uncle."

Like if you see an an empty baby stroller, go over and start gently stroking the wheels while letting your eyes roll back. When it's owner comes over and asks what the hell your doing, that's when you say: "It's ok, I'm an uncle." Maybe that could be a horror movie called "Man Strokers Uncleula".

What I really wanted to talk about here was how many sickos there are in the world. Don't just sit there and agree with me either. Your probably one of them. You think I'm mistaken? Let me ask you this: have you ever touched a pregnant woman's belly to feel the baby kick? Well there you go: Child molestation.

What's worse is your probably a googly eyed baby fondler and you need to be stopped. Next thing you know you'll be wrapping up small struggling pets in garbage bags to try simulating the experience.

On another note, I went camping this week in a forest where My Little Pony's unmarked grave is. Passed the waterfalls and many steps up a cliff there's a gorgeous perch where you can see how the world curves.

Standing there in a moment of reflection, I looked below and watched families play in the stream. I wondered if I could make the shot with a deer rifle.






picture from camping at the the falls


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Location:Minneapolis

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