Just thinking about a bunch of weirdo foreigners babbling nonsense as I ask for directions gives me a total headache. Plus, I'm not about to budget my money and do a bunch of walking when I can see all that shit with the Google Earth application for iphone.
So lately I've been adventuring to the far reaches of the earth by 3 dimensional satellite photos. I've seen Niagra Falls, The Grand Canyon, the Swiss Alps; even the the sight of the World Trade Center in New York! All with a couple of swipes from my finger.
The best part is, you can hover over these places without all the trouble of taking in culture. Hell, I can get that from T.V.
You can journey for hours over the highest mountains or plunge into the deepest canyons while taking breaks to play Angry Birds and thank god. I'm so sick of trying to gain understanding of the worlds different people every time I order Asian Chicken for dinner. That moron should have given me extra meat or at least his first born daughter. I would have paid extra.
Why he included these eating sticks in the bag is beyond me. I'm an American, not some starving peasant. Besides, his culture sucks and I should know. I quick swiped through his whole country on Google so it's practically like I've lived in his homeland.
Usually to enjoy the beauty of another nationality, you need a bunch of patience to reach the common ground of understanding. Thanks to my cell phone, I'll never have to make the effort.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Right over your head
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