Internet trollers. We be thuggin'

People sure are brave over the Internet, aren't they? There's at least a few faceless profiles I'd just love 5 minutes with, alone and in person.

Just look on YouTube. It's incredible the amount of venomous comments you'll find on almost any video. So where does it all come from. Asia?

The internet, while providing a global intermediary for those to share their ideas and information has also become a vehicle to those anonymous beings that wish to spread their vulgarity. Here are the breeding grounds for 12 year old kids to talk like they have a pair.

While there's nothing wrong with a heated debate, a mass influx of mindless, malicious, pointless and even Chinese opinions have spread like a great horde of locusts to every forum and networking site known to man.

Let's break them down by categories: (because it's fun)

Profile ------- Example comment

The Hate Troller:
"Just like when I f***ed your mom you piece of sh**. I feel sorry for you! Rotfl!!!!!!!!"

**Notice how it said they felt sorry for them but clearly they wouldn't be rolling on the floor laughing if they did.

The Political Hothead:
"You socialists love to redefine every word possible. You're all immoral people. Please jump off a bridge."

**Notice how he said "please" when the comment isn't really polite at all. The very fact that he didn't use some Hitler analogy deserves merit.

The Genius:
"I have an IQ of 168 according to national standardized testing. 'Prometheus' was so much better than 'Aliens' it's not even funny. if you can't understand the plot, your probably too dumb to begin with."

**anyone who lists an IQ score as a preface is a retard and needs a crash helmet.

The Racist:
"You squinty eyed Chinese f***tards and your hacked game cheats!! Maybe now you can see why God cursed your race with perma widescreen vision."

**Ok, ok. So maybe I made that last one up.

So what can we do about all these angry trollers? The answer is as simple as they come: trace their IP addresses and alert a global task force that will in turn, alert a local ass beating team to break down the door to their poorly lit, messy bedrooms, smash their trilogy DVD sets and deliver an old fashioned ass whoopin'.

This kind of "thug life 'till I die" reality check would be sure to clean our forums massively.

---It's been real


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Location:The Internet