My Lego War Crimes

G.I Joe should be a part of every boys childhood. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the villain, Cobra. Those guys looked cool with their masks and sharp uniforms.

The thing was the actual G.I. Joe figures were completely gay in my eyes. Some sailor with a parrot on his shoulder or other non threatening looking soldiers. Screw that. I liked my army men wearing bitchen masks so they couldn't be identified later in imaginary war crimes trials.

Try as I might to keep my collection pure, Christmas or my birthday would come along and some clueless relative would infect my collection by giving me 'Joes'.

I made short work of them by immediately constructing a Lego concentration camp. This makeshift camp afforded me hours of entertainment, managing the camps day to day operations.

When my mom came home and found 3 G.I. Joes hanging from the banister in twine nooses, I went straight to therapy. How unfair. Here I was learning all these lessons about efficiency and logistics and she gets all creeped out.

Don't you get all freaked out either. I didn't have a mass grave for the toys or anything. Each of them had their own backyard grave no matter how many pieces they were in.



Now I play "Axis & Allies Miniatures" or in layman's terms: Army men for grown ups.
(My little Panzer tanks really wow the ladies.)


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Location:Uptown, Minneapolis