Sunday, July 10, 2011

Mother Nature's a bitch

They don't call her "Mother Nature" because of all the testosterone in the atmosphere. They say that because she's a bitch. I mean that like you'd refer to a female dog of course. It has nothing to do with a welling resentment against that one girl I waited years to make out with only to have her ignore me at parties and accuse me of calling her and hanging up all the time. No, it has nothing to do with that.

What I'm getting at is nature, much like women, has her time of the month. But the world travels in bigger circles than we do. So her time of the month is probably every couple of centuries.

You may have noticed she's pissed; and sick of Asians. Either that or she's hungry and making some Japanese soup, I don't know.

I mean Japanese soup is really good but why has she been tearing it up with all the tornados lately? It used to seem like they only hit trailer parks but then one hit North Minneapolis so I have 2 theories:
1. Mother Nature doesn't like the uneducated
OR
2. They're just too stupid to see a tornado coming. Just kidding.

I would use Hurricane Katrina as an example but we all know that was a plot orchestrated by the white man just like the assassination of amazing prophets like: TuPac. Some say he'll rise again when the new Escalade comes out.

It's obvious Mother Nature needs her space because she seems intent on ridding the world of needless humans. She's using Tsunamis, volcanos and passive aggressive diseases like AIDS.

Today I realized I was siding with her when I bummed 3 cigarettes to a girl that looked about 12. If the Earth is trimming the fat starting with morons and minorities, then I'm starting with bitches from Edina. This way they'll never grow up to not wanna make out with me.


Mother Natures menstrual cramps----^

Are you still reading? That was the end up there. As long as your lurking--I was thinking this blog needs more updates! If in gonna get you hooked, I wanna keep up your habit!

I'll make you a deal: I'll post more often if you keep reading and help me get more readers. The entries might be short but so is your speedy little internet attention span.
Also---for the trailer trash and illiterate, I'll try and post my photography in every entry.



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Location:The Milky Way

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